Domestic Terrorists Establish Seattle Caliphate; Hilarity Ensues

The mainstream media has gone from pretending that Antifa is a peaceful protest group to now pretending that it doesn’t actually exist. As soon as President Trump announced that he would designating the noodle-armed Soros brigades as a domestic terror group, CNN and MSNBC were suddenly declaring, “Aunty-what? Whose aunt is Literally Hitler Big Orange talking about?”

They are a real group, of course. And if you’ve missed the news, they just took over a six-block area in Seattle. They set up barricades, took over an empty police precinct building and are asking for armed guards to help control the perimeter of their little caliphate.

Then something really hilarious happened. In order to bolster their numbers, Antifa invited all of the homeless people in that six-block area to come share their communal food. They were going to show the world that their little communist caliphate is a much better system to live under than capitalism.

Then, surprising exactly no one in the rest of America, the hoboes stole all the food from the caliphate. They were sending tweets for comrades to bring them food so that the commune can last until Day 2. Nice going, Vanilla ISIS!


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