We know it was a long time ago, but just a few months ago in 2019, the super-smart TEEVEE people were telling us that it was wonderful that there were so many diverse, non-white candidates vying for the chance to run against Donald Trump in 2020. Because diversity is (somehow) our strength, American Democrats were sure to select a diverse candidate to save us all from Big Orange.
Well, voting is literally just a few days away now for Democrats in the Iowa caucuses. After one
of the most non-memorable primary seasons in recent history, they’ve whittled the field down.
Plus, Democrats have coalesced around a unified message to unite the country: They really hate
white people, and especially white males like Donald Trump.
Furthermore, white millionaires are awful. You can really tell they’re sincere about this message, based on the remaining frontrunners: White millionaire Joe Biden, white millionaire Bernie Sanders, white millionaire (heh) Elizabeth Warren, and the other white millionaire boy mayor who was created by the CIA in a laboratory vat whose name we can never remember.
All white millionaires. That’s okay, Democrats. We got this. The American voters will ensure that a hated white millionaire doesn’t end up in the Oval Office after the 2020 election… by re-electing a billionaire instead.