Celebrating What Earthlings Have Accomplished on a Fake Holiday

Ha! This meme creator is celebrating Earth Day by noting all the amazing things that coal has done for the earth. We love this meme because Earth Day is our favorite fake holiday to talk about.

Did you know: The founder of Earth Day, Ira Einhorn, once composted his girlfriend? It’s true! It wasn’t out of his deep concern for the environment or something, since cremating her would have created a bunch of greenhouse gases. It’s too bad that Einhorn murdered his girlfriend before he composted her, because that kind of takes away the glamour and prestige of the whole gesture.

Not to worry, though! Even though Ira Einhorn was shifty New Wave hippie guru who didn’t have a job, he didn’t spend much time in jail. The wealthy Bronfman family bailed Einhorn out of jail. The Bronfmans were also close with Jeffrey Epstein.

Anyway, once he was out of jail, the Earth Day founder immediately fled to Europe where he was able to hide from the authorities for an additional 20 years after composting his girlfriend. He was finally captured, extradited to the US and went to prison in the early 2000s, before dying in prison a couple of weeks ago.

Happy Earth Day!

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