Behold: The Brilliance of Robert Mueller’s Testimony to Congress

We have a confession we need to share with you right off the bat: we didn’t watch Robert Mueller’s highly anticipated testimony to Congress. Well, at least we didn’t watch it live while it was happening. While it was pitched to us as the Super Bowl of Congressional politics — the event of the century that was finally going to take down the Evil Cheeto Emperor — we just couldn’t get into it.

As it turns out, we didn’t miss a whole lot — apart from Mueller occassionally telling lawmakers that things were “outside his purview”, or that that he simply could not answer the question. He changed things up a bit a few times by telling people to “refer to the report” — you know, the document that contained basically everything he said during the entire testimony. That was about it.

The real takeaway here was just how out of it Mueller looked. To be fair, the man is 74 years old, and we’re not going to attack him for his service to the country. He is a decorated Marine veteran, and has a celebrated career as a government prosecutor. But we will say this: the man is clearly passed his prime. There were times when he forgot certain items were in the report, indicating that he wrote little or even none of it.

Basically, the whole thing was a huge waste of time — and even Democrats seemed to feel that way. However, we’re not holding our breathe. We’re positive that the Democrats will find another way to work Russia into the national conversation one way or another. Just give them a couple weeks.


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