A Guide for Speaking to Someone from San Francisco

City officials in San Francisco have recently deemed it inappropriate to refer to convicted criminals as “felons,” so they’ve penned a new, friendlier way to refer to them: “justice-involved persons.”

The logic behind this follows the same trend as every other politically correct move from the SJW crowd. You see, people being charged with homicide, rape, armed robbery, or whatever else you can think of might get upset if you refer to them as “criminals” or “felons.” And we don’t want to hurt their feelings. No one deserves to have their feelings hurt — even rapists. Well, that rule might change if the charge isn’t substantiated and you’re a Republican Supreme Court nominee (or something like that), but that’s different.

Seeing as San Francisco has led the way on everything from making criminals feel better, to banning straws, and to taxing soda, we feel like we can help them out a little bit. Why stop with “justice-involved person?” Certainly, there are tons more people that are in danger of being reminded of of the cold, harsh reality of life, right?

This is just the beginning. We can’t wait for them to start referring to illegal immigrants as “undocumented Americans…”

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